Okay, gave it a play because your visual style caught my eye. First things first, said style is done nicely, I liked the aesthetics and the medieval presentation. That said, I personally think the game would benefit from a more fitting font typeface for the actual story - the current one is very at odds with the rest of the medieval imagery. I understand you don't want to pick something ineligible, but given that the style is such a key thing I really feel it would benefit from something more in keeping.
Secondly, as this is a text story the text really has to be on point; in the very first paragraph there is a sentence that doesn't make any sense, and I noticed a few more grammar and spelling issues throughout. As this is essentially the entirety of the game there really is little room for error. I did notice that Russian language was an option in the menus, so if English isn't your first language that is fair enough, though I believe there are plenty of ways to have a native speaker proofread your script. Also, a game like this really needs some audio, even just some public domain medieval/fantasy songs.
I understand this is a demo, and perhaps these features will be worked into the full release, this is just my thoughts on the game in its current state.
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Okay, gave it a play because your visual style caught my eye. First things first, said style is done nicely, I liked the aesthetics and the medieval presentation. That said, I personally think the game would benefit from a more fitting font typeface for the actual story - the current one is very at odds with the rest of the medieval imagery. I understand you don't want to pick something ineligible, but given that the style is such a key thing I really feel it would benefit from something more in keeping.
Secondly, as this is a text story the text really has to be on point; in the very first paragraph there is a sentence that doesn't make any sense, and I noticed a few more grammar and spelling issues throughout. As this is essentially the entirety of the game there really is little room for error. I did notice that Russian language was an option in the menus, so if English isn't your first language that is fair enough, though I believe there are plenty of ways to have a native speaker proofread your script. Also, a game like this really needs some audio, even just some public domain medieval/fantasy songs.
I understand this is a demo, and perhaps these features will be worked into the full release, this is just my thoughts on the game in its current state.
Thanks for your feedback! All that you wrote is already fixed in the release version. Sound, music, fonts etc
Awesome to hear, will definitely keep an eye on the project!